What kind of woman are you looking for?” she asked.
Sipping my beer for two minutes I contemplate on the question. We have been talking for a while. It is 7:43, it’s raining outside so no one is in a hurry. We have all the time in the world to talk about the kind of woman I am looking for as if the Supreme Court Shananegans aren’t something to chew a bone or two about.
We are seated at the rooftop of Tune Hotel. It has been a long week. The traffic on Rhapta road below is sluggish. The road is wet and the stress of the never ending traffic is interrupted every now and then by some hooting by an impatient driver.
I can’t tell what makes her think I am looking for a woman. Maybe it is the lack of a ring on my finger… Maybe it is the unnoticeable stammer every time a beautiful woman passes by our table… Maybe it is because she is a woman and can read minds.
I am looking for a woman.
So I plan to answer her question. I chew and ponder on it for a while. She is sitting opposite me and she is leaning forward, her head resting on her palm… There’s a lock that has strayed but it looks perfect on her cheek. She has some purple lipstick on. Its faint but I can tell its purple. It looks out of place because everything else about her is dull other than her personality.
“I am looking for a God fearing woman for starters. She has to have a relationship with God. Not necessarily in the Praise and Worship team but she has to know how to pray for herself, her household and our children”… That startles her.
“Don’t you think that’s so cliché? Do you have a relationship with God yourself? Ama you just want a church girl to chew and spit the morning after?” She answers.
“Who said I want a church girl? I just want a girl who believes and understands God’s significance in life, in the world and in everything we do. She doesn’t have to be a church goer. I want a woman who at least says Grace before we descend on the lamb chops. Is that too much to ask? At least I do” I answer back.
My beer bottle is empty and I beckon Beckie to bring me another cold drink.
“What else are you looking for?”
After taking a sip of the beer Beckie brought, I smile at her and stare at a brightly dressed lass staring at me. I am not one to lose staring games but this one I lose. I think its because she is too screaming.
“ I am looking for ambition in a woman. If God so allows, I would like to have a woman who wants better for herself, for me and most importantly for our future. I want a girl who is driven, both technically and figuratively. I am not looking for someone who only worries about the next coin to spend on her weave, her nails, or the next Friday out. I want a girl who will invest a coin or two in our marketing department. I want a girl who will criticize my marketing plan and the strategic drive of the company”
“If wishes were horses, I would only take a girl who will invest in us, for us and with me. I want a woman who understands her current position, appreciates it but wishes to be better. I want a woman who believes that she deserves better.”
She is looking at me keenly. In awe even. I can tell she really wats to hear what standard I will set next.
At this juncture she receives a call. Jasper calling… She stares at the screen for 30 seconds, excuses herself then goes out to answer it. As if on cue mine vibrates. It’s KCB Bank. I don’t even read the text; a bad habit since I am a marketer.
She comes back and sits down. She looks more radiant. Jasper must have said something radiating.
“Where were we?” She asks.
“You see, physical attractiveness means something to me but it does not mean everything. Attract me by how attractive you are then keep me by how laid back, how honest, how driven and how humble you are. Attract me by how shapely your eyebrows are, how soft your lips look, how good you walk in those blue heels, how tight the dress is but you will only keep me by showing me that beyond the skin deep beauty, there’s a princess.”
I take a sip. She does the same.
“Do you think you are as perfect as the woman you are trying to talk about?” She asks.
“I am the most imperfect of humans Lynnette. I have never assumed I was perfect. I am faulty and sometimes I have been broken so I don’t expect her to be all glory. I know she will have flaws. She will be moody in some days, she will curse me in others, and sometimes she will even give me silent treatment for forgetting her birthday. We will fight about the dishes, about my missing sock, our finances, which school we should send our kids to, our future….
We will fight yes; but I want a woman I can still be in love with after these fights. I want a woman I will hug through tears I have caused. I want a woman I am willing to change my bad habits for. I want a woman who makes me a better man. A man who believes more. I want a woman who can teach our kids how to pray.
Lynette, you see, a mother is a child’s first role model. I want a good role model for my children. I want a honest woman who accepts that in the past she was a mess but one that believes that the future is full of possibilities. I want a woman who can play host to my friends, family and colleagues every once in a while.
Yote tisa, ya kumi, I pray for a woman who respects, appreciates and loves my mother unconditionally.”